Everyone living on this planet has experienced pain. And what is most surprising to me is that it’s not so much the pain which hurts us the most, it is the way we deal with it or not which makes it seem unbearable. In this article I’m focusing on emotional pain, nevertheless it is connected to other forms of pain as well. Pain is a response to a painful experience but it is also a signal of a deeper issue which wants to show us something. Let’s say we get hurt over and over again by something our mother says to us. This can be a great opportunity to find out the trigger and where it is coming from. We can only get hurt when we believe what is said its true. Then my question is “Is it really true?” And if not, why do we believe it then?
Often when we experience trauma in our childhood and we don’t have the tools to express and process our emotions they are stored in our emotional body. When this memory gets triggered through similar sounds, smell, colors or emotion it takes us back to that particular moment as a child and we relive the pain. We react as if we were this child again in this particular traumatic situation. This happens till one day we release the emotions attached to that event and we won’t get triggered any more.
Ways to let go of your past hurts
The first and maybe most important decision and self-empowering tool is instead of feeling a victim mistreated and hurt by others, take the control back in your hands and make the decision to let go and move on. It has to come from deep within and the desire to let go has to be genuine.
Once you have taken this decision you have to express this pain, feel it and release it out of your system. There is no point in pretending you are not hurt any more, suppressed emotions are one of the main reasons of disease in our body. Therefore, it is important to face it and then letting it go. This can be done by venting to a friend, writing a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person. We at WhiteLight work with the WhiteLight Methode, where we access the subconscious where all our experiences are stored. We find out the root cause of the pain, what we can learn from this experience, we release the pain at a very deep level and if necessary find an alternative behavior which functions as substitute. In short, we rewire the software, remove the bugs so that we are able to move forward on the journey called life.
For this process it is very important that one steps out of the victim role blaming others for one’s pain. It might feel good at the beginning but the downfall here is that you give the responsibility of your happiness to people around you. You give away your power and people can decide how to make you feel. That is a big dilemma.
Moreover, the fact that the same situation triggers the same reaction in you over and over again becomes a behavior pattern which becomes stronger over time the more energy you give into it. People believe by suppressing pain and pretending to be strong they feel lesser pain when in fact the pain becomes bigger and bigger because it is always there and we need to spend so much energy every day suppressing it. Till one day we can’t and we break down.
Another important part of letting go is Forgiveness. It sounds difficult but if you truly understand what it means it isn’t that hard. Forgiving the other person and forgiving yourself is a very beautiful process. We all are sometimes stuck with our own unhealing and wrong believes and behavior pattern which most of us aren’t aware of. We are not perfect and we hurt each other often out of unawareness and a lack of compassion. We expect a person to behave a certain way and we really don’t know what that person has experienced and maybe he/she can’t behave the way we want them too. It’s often a matter of perspective. If you would deeply know why the person hurt us, we would empathize with him/her.
Letting go is not about accepting someone’s behavior letting go is an active decision to move on and to not carry the pain of the past along. Truly you are doing it for yourself and not for anyone else. And even though you don’t understand why the person did what he/she did. Just tell yourself he/she didn’t know it better and I can’t let this incident define my future.
I choose to let go of the pain completely and fully and I welcome happiness back into my life.